Anger in Teens
Being a teenager is marked by changes in relationships, the search for identity, and mood swings. Teenagers have a reputation for their mysterious bouts of irritability, for rebelling, for being angry. Beyond the expected hormonal changes of puberty, why does teenagehood bring on these intense feelings? Here are some things to consider:
Teenagers do not yet have the identity stability to be resilient against challenges about their own choices. Teenagehood is a time of great self examination and self doubt, and can lead to lots of emotional unrest.
Social and political issues can contribute to feelings of anger; particularly with the advent of social media, where information is available at the click of a button. News oversaturation can be overwhelming for a teen preparing to enter the world.
Adolescence is a time of struggle for independence. A teenager’s desire for autonomy often conflicts with their school or family responsibilities.
As a parent, it can be difficult to deal with a teen’s anger for many reasons. Distress, anger, and sadness are typical responses. Here are some strategies to help navigate this:
Understand your limits as a parent. Knowing when to step away from a heated situation is very important for your own mental health, and sets a good example for your kids about emotional regulation.
Try to accept their anger as a part of their development rather than a personal attack. They will more than likely direct their anger about something else towards you, but remaining as calm as possible and keeping an open dialogue with your child is very important in understanding the root of the issue.
Validate your child’s concerns. Listen, and resist the urge to immediately “fix” their concerns. Empathy without trying to provide a remedy is often what they want. Even when they are upset over things you might not deem as appropriate to be upset about, it is important to show them that you are willing to listen.
There are, of course, more serious cases of distress and rage that could indicate the need for professional help. If you suspect this might be the case and would like support, you can set up a consultation with Dr. Geary.
